My new leaf....

So I have come to the conclusion that it's time for a new chapter in the "Kristin Saga of Life" Biography. I didn't have a awakening revelation or moment of pure epiphany but it's been an ongoing 3 month revelation that my life just isn't where I wanted it to be at 29 years old. Most of my determination has been from reading a fabulous book called "Eat, Pray, Love", which I highly recommend to anyone wanting a little self finding. I only wish I had the money to take off for a year and self discover over 3 different countries and come home with a sense of self peace and happiness only known by Mother Theresa or Gandhi or something but realistically I'm stuck in Franklin, TN right now and the closest I'll get to visiting other countries is heading to the sushi place for dinner, the nail salon where all the ladies speak some form of Asian language and I swear they are all talking about how funky my feet are, or walmart where I could get my fill of Spanish/Mexican influence. The whole idea of where you are in life is mind boggling to me, and without getting way to deep for my own good, and I can only speak as a woman, since that's what I am, that every woman needs time to reflect on where she is in life and where she is going. I think today it's so hard to balance having a functional family life with the big house, white pickett fence, 2-3 children and maybe a dog or cat and also having a career to which you feel self sufficient and satisfied as an individual. Don't get me wrong there are millions of woman working/mothering all at the same time and I truly take my hat off for you, I honestly don't know where you get the energy!!! However I chose the stay at home route and for the purpose of shorting things (stay at home mothers) will now be referred to SAM's in my blogs as an abbreviation....so that is the path I chose and there are many days where I wonder why? I know there are mothers who would love to be in my position if possible but trust me I think everyone should spend a day in someone else's shoes and then really reflect on whether they made the right "life" decision...better yet, spend a month, you could get my daughter on a good day and you REALLY need to experience the 12 hour whine/cry/through tantrum days to get a overall SAM experience! With that said, I think I have decided to find a job outside the home. I love my daughter, she is the most perfect thing in the world, however I am beginning to think I would be a better mom if I was a working mother and had the adult interaction, the freedom of completing and reward of bringing home a paycheck. Now I know there is going to be tons of Sam's in the world that think I'm crazy and that the reward of staying at home with your children is priceless but I miss all the things I gave up when I chose to be a SAM. Ok anyways, it's a damn good thing I'm a fast typer because in the time I have written this entry, Ella Ray has been asleep and I just realized I haven't peed today, eaten anything but left over poptart, haven't thought about thawing anything out for dinner, the dog hasn't been out all day, Dorothy my fish hasn't been fed in God knows how long and I just realized my mortgage was due on the first....crap and she has just decided to wake up......oh the joys of being a SAM